116/365 nothingstopsfedex

Dear Tree,

Last night you decided you can’t take it anymore. All the thunder and lighting and wind and rain. You had enough and tried to take us all with you. Well, you weren’t tall enough to reach any of our houses, but you aimed for the power lines, landed on them, and then snapped them off 10 seconds later. And you managed to block the road while doing so. You thought you had won – a ridiculous act of foolishness in your last ditch effort to get payback for all that you were climbed, used for shade, or had your trunk used for teenage markings of short-lived love. But you thought wrong, and that silly mistake of blocking my road to work this morning brought you to your final demise. You see, I could take the long way around and get to work. And the electric company could fix the power lines. But you didn’t think about the FedEx man and his crazy obsession with speedy delivery and his nothing-will-stop-me mentality. Well, he had the people with the chainsaws come, cut you into firewood, and push you to the side of the road – transforming you into the laughing stock of all your woody buddies. Now, you are nothing but kindle for someone’s hamburgers – the hamburgers which were saved in the fridge when the power was restored around lunch time and you were swept aside. So, I’m sorry Tree for your decision to take your life in such an obnoxious way – you deserved this fate.

RIP,
AJ and the community

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